June Weddings

I remember my "final" moving trip to Portland. Joe had landed a nice job with a large chip-designing conglomerate (he had a practical college major), and I was returning from Peace Corps. Joe met me at the airport with a bouquet of red roses. This was when passengers could actually be met at the gate. Joe set off the metal detector and had to be “wanded” by Security, all while holding out the bouquet, much to the delighted amusement of other airport-goers. What a guy. Joe lived in Beaverton at the time, and while he worked, I explored downtown Portland on foot. I spent most of my time in the Portland Art Museum and didn’t want to leave. I found Portland State University and thought it a very strange campus with streets running through, very different from UC Santa Barbara where we went to school – UC campuses are often separated from the community while being a large influence of the community. Two years later, Joe had moved downtown, and after a brief substitute-teaching stint, I moved here.

Within a week, I had a job and signed up for classes at PSU. Within another week, I started getting familial pressure on the marriage issue. Certain family members didn’t like the living together thing, but realistically, could I really afford my own place on $9/hour without knowing all that much about Portland? Joe called me at work one Monday afternoon to ask if I could leave early on Thursday. I said probably. He said great, because we had an appointment at the Multnomah County Courthouse for a civil ceremony. Giang and Jasmine (two good friends who we hardly ever see anymore), were our witnesses. Then we had lunch and went to the Rose Garden at Washington Park.

Am I sad that we never had a “real” wedding with all of our family participating? Sometimes I am, especially when I see the run of June weddings occurring. I see the fragrant flowers gripped tightly by brides in their beautifully-made gowns and smartly-dressed somewhat nervous grooms. I certainly would have liked to do something before my grandmother passed away late last year. I really wanted to do something in Portland, but my Dad told me to think about the rest of the family (especially those who were averse to travel). I did think of them, and now they are all dead. I think of my parents who are divorced and continue to not get along, and I wonder would having a family gathering been worth it. With Joe’s parents back in Thailand, it is difficult to get our family members together, anyway. I suppose that’s not a real excuse…perhaps we can do something for our 10-year anniversary. I am thankful that Joe and I continue to have a good partnership through life’s turns. I do wish these newlyweds well.